Artwork

For your browsing convenience I have uploaded some pictures of my artwork for easier viewing.......

 

 

How I Escape the Madness..... I read

Yesterday was the most relaxing day I have had in quite awhile. Sure my fibromyaglia might have been flaring up and I'm still on antibiotics from a nasty infection, but neither one seemed to really bug me.

The last couple of days prior I had been having trouble sleeping, but that was not necessarily a bad thing. I got a ton of house work done and got some good reading time in. I've been picking away here and there at the Sookie Stackhouse Novels by Charlene Harris. I think I'm going to have to break down and buy my own set instead of keeping the ones I have on loan from a friend.

Finally Sunday night I was able to get some decent sleep. I stretched out on the couch to read "Living Dead in Dallas" and to my surprise early Monday morning my boyfriend came out to the living room. I woke up withe the book between me and the couch. My glasses were still on. Apparently I was more tired than I had thought. I had fallen asleep while reading.
A lot of people talk about how reading helps them fall asleep. For the first time in my life that is what happened to me. I have never fallen asleep reading a book before.

I am one of those reader that as soon as I pick up a book of any kind I don't want to stop reading it until the book is finished. I remember years ago when Harry Potter was first gaining popularity that If I had a couple days off or more in a row I would read 13 + hours. The only time I would stop was to eat, sleep, bath, or because my eyes would start to lose focus.

During my middle school years I spent a lot of my free time during the summer  months reading instead of going swimming or what not. One summer I remember having read 26 different Star Wars novels, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and whatever else I could find that looked interesting.

Given my obsession with books and reading you would think that I could down a novel in a day like my speed reading brother can. Nope. I have learned how to speed read, but do not implement the technique unless it has something to do with studying. I enjoy taking me sweet time with a book.

Alone in the Dark

Most people who meet me or don't know me very well think that I am a very auditory person, and honestly I can see why. I do talk a lot. However what they do not know is how much of a visual person I am. If I am having a conversation with someone, my mind goes running wild and I imagine what is going on and might even try to imagine the scenario and play it out in my head. A similar thing happens when I read a book. I spend a massive amount of time imagining what the characters act like or what would it be like if I was one of the characters in the story. However, I have found most of the time that I am busy imagining what the background looks like. I like to visualize every tree, hill, town, house and so on. This is a perfect example of what it means to be an artist. Sure I might not have or make time to draw or paint anymore on a regular bases, but I find other means to let my artistic ability flow without it putting my life on hold.
 I read a book, work on the Feng Shui of my home, or I write stories.

The upside down snail on the top of the hill is me. This picture represents my struggle with Fibromyalgia and my life.

As of late I have been keeping the book I have been writing "The Tarnished Necklace", on hold to spend time reading, or to work on making my modest little house a home for my boyfriend, his daughter, and myself. I am not too worried about finishing it since I have the whole story plot memorized and have over 1000 pages written down in notebooks waiting to be put together. Sometimes being a good artist means knowing what is more important in life and keeping your priorities in line. Whether it is to enjoy a good book, spending time with your family, making time for your friends, relaxing with a video game, or making time for yourself...... It is all important. Life must go on.

I find it important to make time to enjoy the little things in life instead of allowing my artwork to swallow me up. I don't want to end up mentally insane like Van Gogh and try to slice my ear off or do anything else insane.

"Musical Snails" This piece marks the beginning of my struggle. My mind was all over the place.

 There were times when I was younger where I would get completely sucked into my art that I would actually blow my friends and family off. I would spend hours locked in my room smoking cigarettes, staring at my art projects, and wondering if I was truly finished with a piece or if it was just the start of something else. At one point I became depressed and instead of my art being a venting point for my feelings or a crutch, it became my enemy.
Lucky for me I was able to pull myself out of it and realized what was happening to me. I packed up all my art supplies, stuck them in the closet. I had closed myself in so tight that I thought no one liked me. I felt that my family hated me. I knew that it was I that felt that way and no one else.

Any time I felt the temptation I picked up a book or went out to the local pool hall to hang out with my friends. I even went to the doctor and got anti-depressants. From time to time I still have to take them.

The Pain of Fibromyalgia

This is what being an artist is all about:
1) Visualizing the world around you.
2) Understanding your weak points and working on them.
3) Making time for all the small things in life is important. It brings balance and perspective.

 A real artist knows that art is not all painting and drawing, but rather the art of balance and bringing harmony to ones life. It is an internal struggle of the mind to keep everything in its place. For me, reading helps keep everything in check.  I learned a life lesson and can now control just how "artistic" I get.

A Relaxing Drive

A whole lot of Munchkin

I've been keeping pretty busy as of late. The boyfriend is in the process of moving the rest of his belongings into my tiny, modest home. Whatever doesn't fit is going to have to go into the storage unit we rented or be sold.

As part of the moving in we decided that his adorable little 2 year old girl should have her own room so I've been trying to move stuff around and put things where they should go.
Yesterday I spent about five hours hanging up my family photos (use to sit on desk we had to get rid of), sorting through electronics to see what can be sold and what can't.
I also starting backing up stuff that we have no immediate use for and have already got two storage tubs out in the shed. I'm hoping I'll be able to clear everything out so that the room will basically be child proof.

Right now the little munchkin only has a playpen to sleep in. We tried to see about sing a toddler bed that was given to us, but we discovered the frame was bent to the point of not being good. We also discovered that bedding for toddler bed's is expensive!

If I can get everything cleared out good enough we are going to put a twin mattress with a plastic slip cover on it on the floor and buy one of those cheap bed-in-a-bag sets at the local Walmart. The little munchkin should be pleased. She may only be 2 1/2 years old, but by golly she knows how ti speak her mind.

Last time she was here she said to me "Momma, I want a bed and room."
I know! She is so smart.
I walked her back to the spare room where her playpen is currently and told her that I am cleaning it up and going to have her daddy put a bed in there just for her.
She got so excited. She started clapping her hands together and giggling. In fact she was giggling so hard with joy that she darn near passed out because she kind of forgot to breath.
That was easily remedied.
All I had to do was ask her if she wanted a cookie.
She stopped giggling excessively, dropped her hands down to her sides and politely asked "Can I?"
Her breathing returned to normal. Of course I did give her the cookie as promised and she said "thank you." Now all we have to do is to work with her to say please.

I had also received a box of kids clothes to go through from my brother's other half recently. I sorted through the clothes and had to keep my mind about it.
This little one will not wear just anything. She is a fashion diva with a shoe fetish. Everything absolutely has to match her shoes or she will throw a fit. It is a scary sight. So to avoid the problem in advance I sorted through them very carefully and compared what I was given to her shoes.
Last time my brother's gal gave me clothes for the munchkin I showed her what I had for her.
She got really excited and refused to let my put them in the washing machine. She picked up the bundle of clothes and walked around the house with them for about 45 minutes before I could take them. She thought they were the greatest thing ever. She kept telling me that they were pretty. At one point she laid them out on the floor in the living room and touched all the fabrics and decorations on them and spent time admiring every single piece. Then she had to show them to one of her Care Bears who apparently approved.

The little one is just to funny. I get a kick out of her all the time.  :)

A Toaster to Remember

It is a long story so I will fill everyone in the best I can.......

It happened in the year 2010. I woke up one lovely June morning. The birds were chirping and the temperature was warming out side. I skipped to the kitchen to get a yummy breakfast treat. I yawned as I prepared my breakfast.

Translation:
It was my damn day off and those horrible little nasty birds that live in the bush by my bedroom window caused me to go want to buy a pellet gun. The urge to run out the door and get one was hindered by that fact that my jammies were soaked from all the damn humidity. I stumbled into the kitchen crabby and pissed off and just wanted something in my stomach in hopes I'd get tired enough to fall asleep again.

I grabbed the bag of sandwich bread off the microwave with a smile on my face as I felt the sunlight hit my face through the lace curtains of my kitchen window. With another skip in my step and humming an all to familiar song I put the tasty bread into the toaster and pulled the lever down. I began to wait patiently for my toast.

Translation: I grabbed the only bread left in the house because I couldn't afford to buy more for a few weeks. When I turned back towards the toaster the sunlight glared off the kitchen window so hard that when the light entered my eyes it stung. I thought I was going to catch on fire from the rays of light. I stumbled over the rug, stubbed my toe on the mop board, and said a lot of horrible words. The sunlight had blinded me and I couldn't see shit as it was without my glasses. I put the bread in the toaster and pulled the lever down. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot on the floor in annoyance. I just wanted to eat and get it over with.

Okay, I'm sure you get the idea. I'm not exactly a fairy princess to begin with and I most definitely am not in the morning. Just like Garfield, I too am allergic to mornings.

Anyways on with the story.....

I grabbed the butter out of the fridge and slammed it down on the counter and looked for a clean plate. I then realized I had forgotten to do the dishes the other day. I improvised and located a Tupperware lid as a substitute. Even more grumpy I walked back to my toaster and continued to wait.... And wait....And wait. I realized it was taking quite a long time and got closer to the toaster and was about to hit the cancel button to stop it. Before my finger could push it the toast popped up, hit the bottom side of my kitchen cupboard at an angle. One hit me on top of the head and the other flew by my ear. Both pieces were burnt."@#%$@%$#$#!!!!!!!!!!!" I shouted.
I picked up the toast slices to throw them away and burnt my fingers. "Ouch! #$#$$%!"

By this point I lost it and went to the closet and dug out my tool bag. I flung it open on the kitchen table and fished out my hammer. I had every intention of taking it outside and smashing it to tiny bits.
Then it struck me, If I destroyed this toaster how would I get another one? I had very little money to spend as it was. I let out a long sigh and carried the toaster to the kitchen table. It was time to get technical. I wasn't going to let the stupid thing get the best of me. In the back of my mind I thought about the possibility of owning a haunted toaster. Thanks to Foamy the Squirrel.

http://youtu.be/2KyRCQp32p8    This is the YouTube link for the video.















Regardless of whether the toaster was really possessed or not wasn't the issue. I was just going to have to make do with what I had. I rummaged around in my tool bag for the required items as I waited for the toaster to finish cooling off enough to take apart. Layer, by layer I got the exterior components off and was able to see the springs. To my great surprise one on each toast slot had sprung. I inspected the other two springs for damage and didn't see any. Using a combination of my Swiss army tech-knife and my expert forking skills I got the two damaged springs out without a problem.
I found two spare springs from god-only-knows-what and used those as replacements since the size was about the same.

I put the toaster back together, plugged it in and tested the voltage. everything was good. I put a piece of bread in it. It worked like a dream. The problem was solved and I was happy.

Later that day.......

I posted on Face Book that my toaster was possessed. I got a lot of questions and comments about it.
My dear brother told me that I should have slapped the thing around with a rosary and recite fake Latin to it.

Another friend asked me if I was sure I hadn't lost my mind. It was a good question because the week before I screwed up my medications on accident and was convinced that it sounded like my dryer had a black man trapped inside demanding to get out so he could have southern style barbecue. I knew of course that the dryer wasn't really talking, but I made the mistake of sharing it. The truth is that the drum bearings an slides were horribly worn out and the machine was a noisy menace to begin with.

Some friends asked me if my toaster came from Amittyville and I assured them that it had not and that I don't have a squirrel living with me. My now boyfriend had offered to let me use his if he could find where it was stored. If he couldn't he offered to look at it if it gave me anymore problems.

A week later.......

My alarm clock in my bedroom died. I decided I could wait to get a new one since my cell phone had alarm on it. That following night I went to bed and about 2:00 AM I hear this horrid sound coming from my living room.

Over half asleep I went into the living room as fast as I could to see what it was. The alarm clock left in there to be used as a regular clock and had never given me any problems at all was going off. I checked the time the alarm was set to. 8:00 AM. I also discovered the alarm mode was turned off. By this time I was wide awake and annoyed to have my slumber ruined by such a faulty device. Once again I grabbed the hammer.
I unplugged the alarm clock and hauled it outside and sat it on the pavement.
I let out all my built up frustrations out on the clock with lots of really good swings.

The porch light came on down the street. I looked up to see what was going on. As I did a living room light turned on and I saw two small children starring at me and their angry mother. Oops.
I put the hammer down and began picking the pieces of the clock up and throwing them into the trash can.

The large mother came over and pointed her finger at me.
"Look at the horrible example you are setting for those two young girls of yours! You should be ashamed of yourself!"  She said without trying to yell.
"What girls? I don't have any kids." I replied.
"What about the red-headed one and smaller blond one that were here the other day?" She asked.
"My nieces." I smiled at her.

I watched her face get all warped in the dark.
"What about the example you are setting for my boys!" She said pointing to the window where she first spotted me.
"Could you hear me smashing this?" I asked.
"No." The large lady replied.
"Then perhaps you should set an example for your boys for spying and for not being in bed when they should be." I turned around and began walking to my front door. I didn't want her to see my smirk.

I could hear her cussing at me and then storming off. I really didn't care. I had been having a horrible year and smashing the alarm clock seemed to make it all go away for the time being. I had enough excitement for one night and sent back to bed.

The next day.......

I got up and made some toast to eat before having to leave for work. The toaster made a groan. Just in case it could cause a problem I decided to unplug it from the wall. I went to work for the first time in awhile feeling happy. That didn't last for long.

As I had pulled into the work parking lot and opened my door this asshole pulled in next to me. If I wouldn't have seen him coming he would have taken my car door off. I had closed it in just the nick of time. He parked so close that I couldn't even open my door again to try to get out. I ended up having to find another parking spot. I yelled at him as I got out for being a bleeping retard and a dumb ass for almost taking my door off. Then just like that all the anger and frustration I thought I took out by destroying the alarm clock came back to me. I stormed inside and got ready to take calls for the day. My supervisor saw me and came over.
"I just checked and you have enough benefit time that you can take it and leave for the day. You really don't look yourself today. I suggest you think about using it." She told me. Her tone was worried.
She was right and I knew it. I took her advice and left.

I didn't feel like going home just yet and I found myself parked in the mall parking lot. Funny thing is that I really don't like shopping under any kind of stress. I figured what the heck. I got out of the car and went inside. I found myself in front of a Chinese massage shop. It sounded really good and just like what I needed so I went in and got a massage.

Finally I made it home and began to relax. I fell asleep on the sofa and later awoke to the sun starting to go down. I went to turn on the light and there was a horrible spark. The bulb had burnt out. I turned on the other lamp and it was fine.

Over the course of the next few weeks strange things began to happen around my house. Lights kept blowing out. My dryer would stop running mid-cycle like the timer had busted. Every single morning I would plug in and unplug the toaster. After awhile I figured maybe there was something the matter with my breakers so I checked them with my meter and reset them just in case.
The following morning I put my bread in the toaster and waited. After a little while smoke started to come out of the top of it and the outlet it was plugged into sparked. I checked the breaker and the breaker was tripped.
Upon later investigation I discovered that one of the heating elements had died. The toaster was no good to me anymore. I took it outside and threw it away.

Call me silly. Call me odd. Call me an idiot. I don't care. That toaster made me thankful to have what I have in life. It took me long enough to realize that. When I did I was finally able to move on with my life and get over all the bad that had happened to me. Years worth of frustration was instantly relieved. Now anytime I think things are bad I just remember back to the time of  my old toaster dying and I feel much better.

Never under estimate the power of a toaster. Whether you think it may be possessed, broken, old, ugly, or even strange, they have the power just like anything else can to learn a lesson and to help heal the soul. The toaster has also taught me how to laugh and love again.

Below are some images of toasters that might help you do the same. If not, I hope they will at least give you a good laugh.

Art Deco Toaster

Bite Me Toaster

Defib Toaster

Toaster Ring

The Toast Printer

Invader Toast

How to Gain Workplace Popularity In a Call Center

That last month has been a whirl-wind of new learning. Here is an example.......

One day I was running late for work and had forgotten to pack my lunch the night before. I scrambled around to find something to take for lunch and found a can of Spaghetti-O's in the cupboard. I quickly grabbed them up and shoved them in my lunch pail with a bowl and can opener and darted out the door to work.

Two service call appointments set, a few erotic pay-per view orders and one deescalation later I was starved. I got to the break room as fast as I could, opened the Spaghetti-o's, dumped them in the bowl and began microwaving them. I lost track of how long they were in the microwave as I ate my chips and yogurt that I had also thrown into my lunch bag.

Next thing you know I hear " I smell Spaghetti-O's!" and "I love Spaghetti-O's" from other employees passing through the break room.

One of the supervisors comes into the nook where the microwaves are. "Spaghetti-O's huh? My nephew loves those things. I like them too. Good stuff." .....and he walks off.

I thought I was beginning to loose my mind. Partially because I forgot about them liking to boil over and I now had a horrible mess. I worked on cleaning them up as I ate.

...... A few minutes pass......

I hear "I smell Spaghetti-O's!"   Seriously?!?! I began to wonder what the heck was going on.
A gal then walked into the microwave nook area.
"Spaghetti-o's are the bomb! I love Spaghetti-O's" She explained.

My mouth was shoved full and I couldn't reply. I just nodded my head in agreement. All I wanted was to eat my damn Spaghetti-O's in peace.

"You are totally awesome!" She tells me. Then just like nothing ever happened she walked off.

What did I learn??

If you work in a call center and you want to become so incredibly awesome you must bring Spaghetti-O's for lunch.

Yeah. I know! WTF????
If only I had learned this ancient call center trick years ago! I would have had it made.....

Boss: "You eat Spaghetti-O's? How would you like to manage your own employees?"

Wishful thinking? Maybe? Maybe not? I plan to continue this experiment later on to find out the truth.

Please stay tuned for the next episode....... "UT-Oh! Spaghetti-O's" or "Using your Noodles: A guide to become saucy."